December 8, 2021

Sex, Drugs, and Radical Self-Expression: Barry Williame Magliarditi

Your path to unparalleled personal fulfillment begins here. No matter how badly you’re hurting, no matter how badly you think you’ve screwed up your life, Barry Magliarditi’s new book, Sex, Drugs, and Radical Self-Expression, aims to help you turn it around. Barry’s life was an early mess as he calls it, filled with drug use, heavy crime, depression, he just felt worthless and alone. 

From there, he grew and is now living a dream life in Bali, owning multimillion-dollar companies, spending his day surfing, just feeling amazing and blessed every day, and you can too. The truth is that a fulfilling and rich life in every sense begins with the relationship you have with yourself. With each practice in the book, your happiness and success can be expanded, and you’ll learn how to start healing the relationship with yourself, connecting with your heart, and learning to be guided by your intuition.

Hey Listeners, my name is Drew Appelbaum and I’m excited to be here today with, Barry Magliarditi, author of Sex, Drugs, and Radical Self-Expression: The Unexpected Path to Fulfillment. Barry, thank you for joining, welcome to The Author Hour Podcast.

Barry Magliarditi: Thanks Drew, grateful to be here.

Drew Appelbaum: Why don’t you help us kick this off. Maybe give us some brief rundown of your professional background, Barry?

Barry Magliarditi: Yeah, I started my own business over 18 years ago in the kitchen and bathroom manufacturing industry. That grew very, very fast to a multimillion-dollar turnover until one day, seemingly overnight, I lost everything. I went bankrupt for $1.3 million, I realized that I had no friends, my relationship was a complete mess, my partner left and took my two kids and moved to the other side of the country and it was a bit of a rude wakeup call to realize that I wasn’t exactly living life congruently to what I wanted or what I said I wanted.

I guess, that led me down this path of trying to understand spirituality, understand psychology and, really just understand how I’d created or how I’d ended up in a place of so much mess. So since then, without going too in-depth, I ended up learning psychology, doing a diploma in NLP, state life coaching, a lot of different psychotherapies, somatic work, opened up a coaching company that was wildly successful and since then have opened and frontiered several multimillion-dollar companies, many of which work without my involvement.

I guess the biggest thing is for me to start to realize that there were almost these three core parts. I was studying meditation and thinking that I was a good person doing spiritually well, but I started to realize that my psychology, my mindset, was impacting my experience of life. So I’ve started diving deep into that area, only to realize that my actual health and wellbeing was again, impacting my life. I realized that there was these, kind of, three main components that cause us to be able to operate in our best in life and also allow us not to operate at our best as well if they’re not in alignment and nourished.

Drew Appelbaum: I want to dig into those three parts, but before that, I just want to talk about that you have written a book before. Why was now the time to write this one? Why the time to tell your story now?

Barry Magliarditi: Yeah. Look, great question. I guess the first book, Path to Freedom, I wrote because I felt that I got to a stage in business where I had achieved a lot of success and replicated that to a hundred clients around the world and so I wanted to document my process.

After that experience, I guess I’ve really overcome this fear of being an author and being seen as an authority figure and I started getting this idea for a second book but unlike the first one, it wasn’t a set methodology. It wasn’t set steps or a blueprint that I’d try time and time again. It was more so this deep intuition or knowing that I needed to write this book. I know it might sound a bit crazy, a bit woo-woo to some of your audience, but I just had this strong urge that I needed to write, and I had no idea what it was going to be.

To be honest, the working title, in the beginning, was “The Spiritual CEO” and that was how it kind of started, and literally I just showed up, and every week, I, to some degree, I guess, channeled the chapter. It was almost like I woke up and I’m like, “Okay, what’s sitting in my heart right now? What’s true for me right now?” And it was 14 weeks, week after week before this book was created and it finished up very different than what I thought it was going to be in the beginning but again, I know it sounds a bit out there but it was very much something that just came through me.

The Heart, The Head, and The Hand

Drew Appelbaum: Sure, and while you were writing the book, I know it’s a lot of inner reflection and it’s about you and your story, but just by digging deeper into yourself or reflecting on what has happened in your life, did you come to any major breakthroughs or learnings while you were writing the book?

Barry Magliarditi: Yeah, it was incredible. It was almost like as I was writing the book, I was further processing deep parts of myself that I hadn’t yet touched on or experienced. It was almost like writing it allowed me to solidify my learnings but also integrate them in a new and profound way.

I guess, one key learning that really resonated and has made a huge impact in every area of my life is the ability that we have as humans to be vulnerable, to be so, so open and vulnerable in any given situation. The trust that creates in people around you, the openness, the permission for others to also share vulnerability and to access but also, the ability to no longer be held at gunpoint to parts of myself that I previously experienced fear or shame or guilt around.

Drew Appelbaum: Yeah. So as you mentioned, you really put yourself out there in the book just telling your story and being incredibly vulnerable, but was there any hesitation to hold back some of the stories or just to hold back in general to maybe polish your story a little bit?

Barry Magliarditi: I don’t know if there was a hesitation as such, but there was a sense of liberation. There’s a part of me that realized that in many ways, my whole life, I had lived half-assed. I’d lived almost wearing a cloak and showing up in a way that I perceived would allow me to belong, to allow me to fit in and I also realized that that same reason was what was actually preventing me from fitting in. 

That same thing was preventing me from belonging and having the experience of life that I knew or felt was possible because I wasn’t being authentic with myself and so in many ways, this book— and I speak about in the very beginning is that more than anything— I want to empower people to grossly show up as all of who they are and realize that that is the only way that we’ll find the deep longing and the nourishing relationships that we so deeply desire. 

I guess, that book was a permission slip for myself where I no longer have any concerns of how people perceive me because I am happy with who I am. And, I guess, that that book is a permission slip for others to have that same experience of life where they start to realize that everything they’ve been through, they’ve been through to help them become who they are and it’s not something first to hide behind and it’s not something first to continue to carry around as baggage but something that we can use to liberate us to truly become free.

Drew Appelbaum: Now, when you started writing the book or when you first decided to write the book, in your mind, who were you writing this book for?

Barry Magliarditi: Actually, to myself. I was very much writing the book to myself that had this experience of almost showing up in life and having no idea what steps to take next. You know, out of high school, out of moving out of my parent’s place and just going, “What is this thing that we call life?” It was almost like being brought out of a time capsule into this experience where I was like, “I don’t know how to look after myself.” I didn’t even know who I am. In many ways, I was writing it to the younger version of me.

Drew Appelbaum: You talk about how you were very self-destructive in the book, but you also go into how a lot of people are just feeling so broken right now. Why is that as in today’s day and age, it seems like there’s a lot of opportunity in the world, but everyone is also a bit hurt?

Barry Magliarditi: I guess there’s a few different angles to this approach. If we look at the first one, like social media, social media was said to have been created to help us to connect more. In many ways, what happened is you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes footage to somebody else’s highlight reel. Most people, what they post on social media is what makes them look good or what they perceive will make them look good. 

There’s all this other part of their story and their experience of life that’s left behind. In many ways it creates— and certainly for me— creates a lot of separation, where I was comparing my whole known experience of my life to somebody else’s highlight reel and constantly feeling like I wasn’t enough, consciously feeling like the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be was so huge.

I think in many ways, social media and the fact that the world seems to have just sped up, right? We’re more and more overwhelmed with consumption, overwhelmed with this need for us to seek for immediate gratification, which in many ways puts a lot of pressure on us to be something. Yet, that pressure is perception of what we should be or who we should be, right?

It’s disingenuine. I guess on one level, there’s that. On the other, I think in many ways, as an existence, we are evolving and people are becoming a lot more sensitive. I feel in life, life has a way of squeezing us to allow those parts inside of us that are holding us back, those parts inside of us that are burdensome or holding us down, they come to the surface and they don’t come to the surface to create more pain or to create more destruction. 

They come to the surface to be healed. Yet, I’m not sure about you, Drew, but that was not someone that I was educated when I was young. I wasn’t educated to trust my instincts, to follow my heart, to manage and process my emotions.

I didn’t have that experience in school, I didn’t have that experience growing up with my parents, yet I think that that’s where the schooling system is failing is they’re not teaching our kids around health and wellbeing. They’re not teaching about regulating emotions, they’re not teaching them about creating lasting relationships and so I think it’s a long-term problem that we are starting to see be addressed.

Drew Appelbaum: Now, you mentioned earlier, your healing journey— we want to call it that— was really composed of three parts: the heart, the head, and the hand. Can you talk about each of those and maybe what they represent?

Barry Magliarditi: Yeah. For me, the way that I wrote the book was the way that my journey unfolded and you know, everybody is different. Everyone’s journey unfolds differently. For me, I had somewhat of a spiritual awakening. When I was 18 years old, I had an accident, I was told that I would never be able to walk again. I had severely damaged my spine and I ended up meeting a guy— which I spoke about in the book— that randomly one night I started to channel Reiki to me, which is a form of energy healing. 

This was at the point where, all of a sudden, these strange experiences started to happen to me that I couldn’t explain. I guess prior to that you could say that I was somewhat atheist. I didn’t believe in anything that I couldn’t see or feel and that started opening my eyes and opening my perception to a sense of remembrance. It was almost like the experience that I had— [what] I was having was not experiences that I was learning but experiences that I was remembering. 

It was almost like I brought them forward from my past life, I supposed you could say. So I went on this journey for a significant amount of time, a lot of meditation, a lot of different spiritual developments, a lot of connecting with different sources, and having these insights until one day I went bankrupt for $1.3 million and I guess I started to question my faith. I started to question my spirituality even though something inside of me felt like that experience needed to happen. 

That experience is what got me into starting to understand psychology, right? The head and how our upbringing and our traumas, our perceptions, the experience of life create the way that we see the world, right? The way that we interact with the world. Like, me and you could both witness a car accident and when questioned by the police, remember a different experience of that car accident. Now, that’s based on the filtering system of how we filter that information, and it is the same with our belief systems and the way that we’ve been brought up. 

That journey took me down this path of deeply understanding my mind. It was like, “Ah, I’ve got it,” right? There’s this energetic spiritual aspect and there’s this psychological mental aspect, right? That’s everything, I’ve got it, and it was probably four years ago that I started to then— I came across an extensive work in the psychology space and I started to come across people that were into breathwork and shamanics and stuff to do with the body. 

I was like, “Wow, the body stores trauma.” The body, the muscles, the cells and there is a lot of scientific studies [on] stored memories. That is when I started to realize it was almost this holy trinity of the spirit: the energy, the mind: the psychology, and the body: the physiology and the three of those work powerfully as a record keeper but also work powerfully to be able to allow us to start to create, manifest the life that we choose. 

Drew Appelbaum: Now, I want to ask you about that word ‘spiritual’. Do you need to be what people would traditionally think as a spiritual person to enjoy the book? What are your thoughts around that word? 

Barry Magliarditi: Now, I guess spirit means many things for many people and you know, what I’d say is I guess at the minimum, we’ve got to have some understanding that there is something or something or someone else outside of us, you know? We don’t have to be rocket scientists to realize how incredibly amazing is it that our heartbeats from before we’re even born like in our mother’s womb until the day that we die, every second of every day without ever needing to be recharged, right? 

There are some phenomenals that happen in life and so I guess no, you don’t have to be spiritual but there has to be an understanding that there is possibly something beyond what you or I could physically comprehend at this point in time. And you look over the last 15 years, there’s been some significant movement in science where science is starting to show things like the heart has a far greater omittance of energy than that of the mind. 

I think in many ways, this thing that we deem as spirituality is not necessarily believing in God or Buddha or Jesus but, just believing the fact that there is energy that is within and outside of all of us. 

Starting Your Journey Towards Transformation

Drew Appelbaum: You also deal with ego a lot in the book. What does it actually take for someone to both recognize their ego and how it affects their life and how to cleanse, if you will, one’s ego? Can that actually be done?

Barry Magliarditi: Again, I guess I’ll look at this question from a different perspective. When I started getting coaching myself, a lot of the coaches that I worked with took me down this path of like ripping out the weeds, so to speak. It’s like you have these negative thoughts, you have these belief systems, we need to rip them out and replace them. Now, something about that, although I was getting results, something about that felt disrespectful for me. 

I was like, “These beliefs have been created from a place of me needing to survive when I was younger.” Now, although these beliefs not serving me right now, it seems disrespectful to rip them out when they were created out of love in the first place. So I guess this took me down the path of realizing that ego is something that gets a bit of a bad rap. People are like, “Oh that’s your ego.” 

Well, ego could stand as a metaphor of edging God out, or edging out spirit, and so I don’t think that we need to kill the ego or knock it off but like everything, I think we need to give it a space for expression, right? The same as I spoke about before with these traumas and negative emotions, like what I think is doing the most damage, is us walking around perceiving that we have to suppress this stuff that it is not safe to share it that we can’t act from that place. 

Ego can be a very powerful tool to help create, but is it used from a place of resourcefulness in terms of helping us move closer to that that we want, or is it actually acting as a barrier, preventing us from having what we want? 

Drew Appelbaum: What kinds of practices should someone be doing every day to keep their spirit alive, if you will, and to feel refreshed?

Barry Magliarditi: Yeah, I think a few things. I think meditation is really important and it is something that is becoming a lot more mainstream, and I think meditation paired with breathwork. If you think about it, we take our first breath the moment we’re born into this life and we never stop breathing, and yet often what happens is when we experienced trauma, we can hold onto our breath, which creates irregularities in the way that we breathe. 

I think bringing in the practice of breathwork every day, bringing some meditation, it doesn’t have to be much, but consistency is what counts and I think more importantly, I think is building in space to your day. Everyone is so busy; they’ve got a million notifications going off in their phone every second of every day. Like man, just taking some space to sit on the beach or walk out in nature, even just being in a room without your device, without kids interrupting you. Just to have some time to sit with your thoughts and feelings will do wonders. 

Drew Appelbaum: Now, patience is hard and this book deals a lot with you know, a lot of inner reflection and change. So for someone who is going through the book and wants to start practicing what they’re reading, how much time should they really expect to put in before they feel or see some change, as to set expectations, and really what can they expect their first few steps and changes to look like? 

Barry Magliarditi: I think it definitely varies. You know, everyone that picks up the book is going to be at a different space in their journey and some are going to be more sensitive and more open and more aware of others based on the work that they have or haven’t done prior. I think more important than anything is to ask yourself the question is, “Are you having the experience of life, health, wealth, relationships that are fulfilling, that are nourishing, that continue to open up and expand?” 

If not, pick up the book, dedicate some time, read a chapter a day or a chapter every couple of days, and just trust the process because, again, what happens— and I can relate with you myself— is often we want to tick something off our list. We want to be like you have done that or you have achieved that, but the journey within is something that becomes a lot more around actually surrender and patience and trusting than the fact of us doing, right? 

Everyone is already busy doing things, so I think more importantly than anything is to pick it up, be patient, set a goal of reading a chapter every day or every couple of days, and allow it to unfold. Take note of where you’re at in these areas of life before you read the book and after you read the book and you will notice a significant difference in transformation. 

Drew Appelbaum: You also mentioned that the book is just the beginning of a journey for readers, so what can they expect? What’s next after they start this?

Barry Magliarditi: Yeah. Well, the reality is, in life, we’re either green and growing or ripe and rotting. Life doesn’t stand still and so as human beings, I believe that we should be constantly investing in our personal, spiritual, mental, physical growth. What the book is going to do is it’s going to allow you to have a greater connection and relationship and understanding with yourself far beyond what you’ve had before. 

Unfortunately, none of us were given the instruction manual of how to be human when we incarnated on this earth, and so this book is going to give you a great level of awareness that will have a massive impact in every area of your life. 

Drew Appelbaum: You also have additional resources besides what you have in the book on your website.

Barry Magliarditi: Yeah. 

Drew Appelbaum: Can you tell us what that website is and then maybe give us a little tease of what we can expect there? 

Barry Magliarditi: Yes, so the best website is my name, barrymagliarditi.com. On there, you’ll find links to several companies that I either own or have shares in. Very much I guess my legacy’s about helping remove entrepreneurial poverty, and so helping entrepreneurs to create businesses that are profitable and work without them and a big part of that is around developing a phenomenal mindset and state of being. 

On the website, there are different trainings around how to access these different parts of yourself, how to shift emotions and traumas as well as access into previous books that I’ve written and communities that I’ve founded, or I’m actively involved in. 

Drew Appelbaum: Well, Barry, we just touched on the surface of the book here but writing a book like this, you know again, being extremely vulnerable about your own story and using it to help people in their lives is no small feat. I know this isn’t your first book, but congratulations on having another book published. 

Barry Magliarditi: Thank you so much. 

Drew Appelbaum: One more question for you, hot seat question. If readers could take away only one thing from the book, what would you want it to be? 

Barry Magliarditi: It’s okay to be all of who you are. 

Drew Appelbaum: Love it. Barry, this has been a pleasure and I’m excited for people to check out the book. Everyone, the book is called, Sex, Drugs and Radical Self-Expression, and you could find it on Amazon. Barry, we heard about your website, we all know about the book now, but where else can people connect with you? 

Barry Magliarditi: Best place is through the website, barrymagliarditi.com, you could find me on any of the socials, Barry Williame Magliarditi.

Drew Appelbaum: Well, Barry, thank you so much for coming on the show today. Best of luck with your new book. 

Barry Magliarditi: Thank you so much.